


Love Too Hard

by ObsessedtwibrarianOTB



Category: BLURRYFACE - Twenty One Pilots (Album), Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst and Humor, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-07-21 13:43:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7389280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObsessedtwibrarianOTB/pseuds/ObsessedtwibrarianOTB
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's just a few hours before their show, but Josh is not around.  Tyler finds him in their bus looking sad and dejected. Something is definitely wrong with his friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Too Hard

**Author's Note:**

> I recently attended a TOP concert in Charlotte, NC. (The Emotional RoadShow with Mutemath and Chef's Special fronting). This one shot was inspired by something that happened on stage during that performance. 
> 
> Also, I am not an expert on drum sets. I did a little bit of internet research (just enough to be dangerous!), so if I got the technical things wrong, just roll your eyes and look away. LOL
> 
> (Story banner created by me using Photoshop CC 2015. Please do not alter my work in any way, or post it on other sites without credit, or claim it as your own work.)

****

Still hours to go until show time, but Tyler was not one to lounge around on the bus. He liked to hang out backstage and mingle with the crew, get a feel for the venue, and basically just get his head in the game early. But someone very important was missing. 

“Where’s Josh?” 

“Bus,” Sam threw over his shoulder as he passed, dragging a trail of electrical cords behind him. 

That was strange. Josh wasn’t one to lounge around on the bus either. He always double, triple, quadruple-checked his set up, a habit leftover from their early days. Plus, he never passed up an opportunity to chat up the locals backstage for advice on where to eat, or interesting sights to see. Something was up. 

Tyler maneuvered his way off the stage and strode purposefully across the fenced-in back lot to their bus. He pushed through the doors to find Josh sitting on the bench sofa, studying a piece of paper in his hands. 

“Hey,” Tyler said, trying to sound as if he just happened to drop by on his way to do something else. “Whatcha doin’?” 

“Oh. Hey.” Josh lifted his head and quickly folded up the paper into a tiny square, secreting it in his fist before Tyler could see what was on it. “Just hangin’ out.” 

 _Just hanging out??_ Something definitely wasn’t right. “What’s that?” he asked, nodding in the direction of Josh’s fist. 

Josh shrugged. “Instructions.” 

He snorted a laugh. He’d personally seen Josh disassemble and then reassemble his entire drum set with his eyes closed. Well, he’d probably cheated a little, but Tyler had still been impressed. “Since when do _you_ need instructions to do anything? You’re the Assembly Ninja around here.” 

Josh sighed instead of laughing, and that was when he knew for certain something was terribly wrong with his best friend; the dejected set of his shoulders was a dead giveaway.  He sat down on the bench sofa opposite Josh. 

“Maybe I can help?” he offered, nodding in the direction of Josh's fist again. “What are these instructions for?” 

Josh hesitated, which felt all kinds of wrong to him. “Where to meet and what time.” 

Tyler’s eyes widened. 

“It’s from a girl; her name’s Bree,” Josh continued softly. “She wants to meet me Friday before the show and…uh…I think I’m going to take her up on her offer.” 

Tyler fought to keep his jaw off the floor as he searched for the right words to say. He wasn’t one to interfere in his friends’ lives, but this was _Josh_ , and Josh didn’t do casual hook-ups. “Do you really think this is—“ 

Josh interrupted him. “It’s been forever since I’ve connected, you know? What happened with Julia, it’s messing with my head. I really need this, Tyler.” 

 _Julia? Wait, what???_ Tyler felt dizzy, like he’d just crash landed into the middle of his dad’s favorite episode of The Twilight Zone. “Who is Julia??” he blurted out without thinking. He knew everything about Josh, just like Josh knew everything about him. Suddenly there was an unknown variable in that equation which totally upset the equilibrium in Tyler’s well-constructed universe. 

Josh went quiet for so long he began to think he should leave, even though the idea of walking out of that bus without helping his friend made him physically ill. 

“You can tell me anything,” Tyler prompted softly. “You know that, right?” 

But Josh wasn’t talking; he was rolling the folded-up instructions around in his fist and staring solemnly at the floor. Out of desperation, he fell back on his ace card: his sense of humor. It got a smile out of Josh every single time. 

“So, is Julia the reason you didn’t invite me to stay over at your house the other night? ‘Cause I just assumed it was because Jenna was tagging along. You know, the fifth wheel thing and all that.” 

Josh raised his head and snickered, which sucked a little bit of the strangeness out of their conversation. “Well, you gotta admit, Jenna _is_ a little bossy.” 

“Not arguing that point,” Tyler said, chuckling. 

Josh sighed. “I just needed to be alone. That’s all.” 

Tyler could understand the need to be alone, but what he _couldn’t_ accept was his own blissful oblivion. He’d apparently been so completely disconnected from Josh’s life that he’d not seen this disaster coming. He hadn’t even known Josh was seeing anyone! Who was this self-centered jerk named Tyler Joseph, and why hadn’t he known his best friend was hurting?? He was going to need some serious quiet time to analyze that and fix it. But in the meantime… 

“I just want to go on the record and say that meeting this fan is not a safe thing for you to do,” Tyler said, careful to keep his advice friendly and not patronizing. “What if she’s…well, you know… a little _over-zealous_?” 

Josh smiled indulgently. “ _All_ of our fans are over-zealous. That’s why we love them.” 

He fought the urge to growl out loud in frustration. “Okay, let me rephrase that. What if she’s straight up crazy? You know how I get before a show. I don’t have time to deal with you getting kidnapped, and all that ransom negotiating stuff. The stress of that will completely wipe out my pre-show vibe. And who am I going to find to bang around on those percussion things at the last minute??” 

He honestly wasn’t trying to be funny that time, but Josh actually howled with laughter. He silently fumed in frustration, while Josh tried to reign in his giggles. 

He dismissed Tyler's completely legitimate concerns for his safety with a wave of his hand. “Jenna can handle the negotiations. She’s a ninja with details. And Darren can take over drums. He’s amazing.” 

Tyler bristled, not bothering to hide his annoyance. “That won’t work. Darren’s hair is brown.” 

Josh gave him that special little smile he had that made him feel like he’d just gotten a gentle pat on the head. “I’m not going to get kidnapped, Tyler. I’m a big boy; I’ll be fine.” 

Conversation stopped. Tyler leaned back on the sofa and began pecking out a worried rhythm on the back cushion. His nervous finger-drumming was the only sound in the bus, except for the equally irritating sound of Josh flipping those casual hook-up instructions around in his hand. In the continuing silence, Tyler shifted into Analyze Mode as effortlessly as he breathed, which he was wont to do in times of extreme stress or awkwardness. He knew he was annoyed, but deep down he also knew that Josh’s wild idea to hook up with a fan girl wasn’t the source. The reason for his sudden bad mood was _him—_ Tyler Robert Joseph. His own lyrics came back to slap him hard in the face: _I wanted to be a better brother, better son._ Apparently he needed to learn to be a better _friend_ , too. Josh deserved more from him than what he’d gotten lately. _Okay, you want to be a better friend? Then stop with the self-flagellation, the stupid wallowing, and find out what happened with Julia. Help him talk it through. Be the friend you’d want **him** to be for **you!**_

“So…what exactly happened with Julia?” Tyler asked, finally breaking the silence. The curiosity was burning a hole in his brain. 

Josh shook his head, and when he finally spoke, the pain in his voice opened a massive fissure in Tyler’s soul. 

“I broke her,” Josh said softly. “I gave her everything I had inside of me, and it was just too much for her to handle.” Josh raised his gaze to Tyler’s, and what he saw in his friend's eyes broke his heart. “I love too hard.” 

He was stunned at Josh’s confession. He was floundering, his emotions crashing into his body at all angles, like the waves of the ocean being tossed about in a fierce storm. He felt helpless. “Is there anything I can do?” he offered gently. 

Josh shrugged and and gave him a sad little smile. “You could write a song about it, you know, just for me. That’d be cool.” 

“You got it,” Tyler said, knowing he wasn’t going to have wrestle with his dark muse to find the lyrics for this one. The song was practically writing itself as they spoke. 

“I think I’ve figured out how to fix this, though,” Josh said suddenly, nodding, his eyes brighter and more focused than they’d been since the start of this conversation. “I think, in the future, I just need to roll it back a little. Dial down my intensity some. That’s the only way I can minimize the carnage.” He nodded again, biting his lip the way he always did when he’d come to a final decision about something. “That’s the only way I can stop the breakage before it happens. Just turn it down.“ 

That was the moment Blurry flipped the switch and Tyler let him. The anger flowed into his veins and crashed across his brain in a tidal wave of red. “Stop,” Tyler snarled. “Just stop with that ‘roll it back’ shit.” 

Josh’s eyebrows shot over the back of his head, and with good reason. He rarely ever cursed, and when he did, everyone around him instinctively took a few steps back. 

“I don’t want to hear any more of that ‘dialing it down’ shit, either.” He jabbed his finger in Josh’s direction to emphasize his point. “You keep on loving too damned hard, you hear me? Don’t ever water yourself down to please somebody else. What you _need_ to do, Josh, is go out there and find someone who loves too hard, too. And then throw every damned thing you have inside of you straight at her, and if she’s the right one for you, then she’ll absorb all that intensity of yours, and she’ll turn it into the purest joy you’ve ever experienced. Trust me, I know this. I’ve _lived_ this.” 

Josh’s mouth dropped open for a few moments, then it snapped shut. His eyebrows slid back into their proper place beneath the flyaway strands of bright red hair. A knowing smile suddenly sat smugly on his face. 

“So, what you’re saying is I made the right decision,” Josh said. “I was having my doubts there for awhile.” 

Tyler’s earth-axis shifted, throwing him completely off balance. “The right decision? The right decision about _what??”_  

Josh eagerly scooted forward on the sofa, his eyes shining, his grin spread impossibly wide across his face, teeth flashing, blinding Tyler with their brilliance. “About Bree! I was going to just go with what I had, but then I got to thinking, maybe I should upgrade, you know? We’re doing pretty well; I figured I could splurge a little. Shit, I forked over a boatload of money for this, Tyler—I think I spent more than my house cost! Well, maybe not that much, but it was a whole hell of a lot—but I thought it was the only way to head off the carnage. So, I guess I made the right decision, right?” 

Tyler blinked. A few moments of silence passed. “What are you talking about?” 

Josh was so wired for sound he was about to tail-wag himself off the sofa. “My new kit!” he shouted. He tapped each finger as he elaborated. “Pearl Masters Custom MRX drums, Sabian cymbals with the _brilliant_ finish, a ton of Vater sticks, and I got me a sweet Ambassador snare to replace Julia, a Powerstroke bass, and all pearl hardware on everything, and even a cowbell!” 

Tyler blinked again, his brain struggling to process the string of words he’d just heard. One thing stood out. “A cowbell?” 

Josh grinned crookedly and shrugged. “We might need one someday.” 

Then the gears slid into place, shifting the words into their proper slots, analyzing them for meaning, the process effectively smothering the life out of any anger he might have had left. “We’ve been talking about drums this whole time??” he asked in disbelief. 

Josh gave him a duh look. 

Something else suddenly clicked in his frontal lobe. “A snare to replace Julia? Julia is a drum?! Are you telling me you name your drums??!” 

Josh looked a tad bit offended. “Well, yeah. Doesn’t everybody? Julia was that snare I broke a couple of weeks ago. You remember. We had to stop the show right in the middle of the big group medley. It was embarrassing. I’ve never broken a drum head before. I guess I loved Julia a little too hard that night, I got a little too intense, but that’s not going to happen again. This new kit is sick. I think Bree will be able to handle all the intensity I can throw at her. I think she loves too hard, too.” 

Josh stared at Tyler. Tyler stared at Josh.

“Did you just punk me??” 

Josh grinned. 

He was amazed he could stand, since he was dangling from Josh’s hook like a baby fish straight out of the hatchery. He pointed his finger at his friend. “You are **so** out of this band.” 

He headed for the exit. 

“So does this mean you’re not going to write me that song?” Josh called out, but he was talking to Tyler’s back. 

“OUT. OF. THE. BAND!” he shouted over his shoulder. 

Josh’s laughter followed him down the steps and out the door.

 

 


End file.
